“You will never, ever, EVER be a f*ckin’ racing driver, you disgusting, fat motherf*cker! You’re just an old piece of sub-human garbage!”
Advice – [ədˈvīs]
- guidance from someone who “knows better” complete with, usually, an alarmingly low hit rate
- the guise under which doubters and negative individuals (re: friends, family, people you know) will give you their irrelevant opinions and recommendations
- akin to thinly veiled warnings in modern times, made by small thinkers and sad basterds who somehow operate in the space you wish to exist
- anything said by others, which you should question often and largely ignore because you are a one man army
If you are here reading this after the first three posts, you decided to pull up a comfortable chair and take in a really long-winded story. I really appreciate that, even if what compels your presence here is similar to what people who cannot break gaze from impending train wrecks experience. The gentler among you will probably think it is great I decided to pursue dynamite and might even be wishing me the very best of luck. Others among those reading this probably have a multitude of questions. Hopefully those will be answered in the coming months; I set a goal of posting (my various ramblings?) on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future. I recently took note of many lost souls wandering in here from vast distances away. That was a really cool surprise as I have not pushed this site anywhere yet somehow 340 readers took a minute out of their day to investigate this place. I hope I can turn all of them into dedicated visitors to my blog.
Let’s touch on one of the ineluctable inquiries posed to someone when deciding to pursue anything with a seriously low probability of success..
“Simcadet, have you ever thought to consult someone about this silly children’s aspiration you have?”
“No. Well, not really – Why the f*ck would I, exactly?”
(The comment section is open, by the way!)
To understand why this is the case, I have to turn the clock back a bit further for you. I have never really had many friends going through life. In fact, I have spent the majority of my years in seclusion, right from the schoolyard days onward. I never prioritized investing the requisite time in building meaningful relationships or forging steadfast friendships. This mentality persisted even through my twenties which were arguably the most important period in one’s life to do so – how many close friendships is a person really going to shape throughout their thirties and forties, especially as a male?
I am cognizant just how minimally those last few lines might resonate with the average individual. Humans are social creatures after all. At least, that is what all of us frequently hear during adult life. When I was young and impressionable though, I heard someone say “a man grows up to become the average of those he spends the most time with. He becomes a product of his environment.”
As someone who did not exactly have the best surroundings and influences in life, this comment utterly terrified me.
Thus far it has been a blessing in many ways. This post is mostly focused on one of them – the approval of others means nothing to me. I typically do not care for what other people think of me, what I am doing, or how I direct my efforts. Many people who speak like this say so from an empty place, but not the author of this post. This guy does not give a single f*ck.
Why? It’s due to enjoying some very pleasant side effects!
1.) I mainly avoid asking people what they think..of anything, really. If you ask, you need to speak with them. More than mildly inconvenient in my view! Actually I mainly avoid people and social media apps, generally. You are, in the end, reading this on an unadvertised blog site..
2.) I do not even blink in the face of discouragement or doubt. Oh, you think I can’t do something? Ha! Join the line, I’ve been hearing this as long as I can remember! What someone else thinks is their business, not mine.
3.) It’s meant giving oneself to loneliness was the norm, and not a grand sacrifice. If someone has the appropriate character, loneliness turns out to be awesome. It is often that way which success lies anyhow.
Right now I imagine you are thinking something along the lines of, “Great, dude, but why wouldn’t someone talk about their goal with anyone, at least when it was just an inkling of an idea? Maybe you could avoid some future heartbreak and pick up some much needed advice.”
I avoided this for the most part. Reason being many people really seem to enjoy projecting their small thinking onto others. There is never any shortage of people, even if they do not know a person from a hole in the wall, who love to place limitations on others. If a stranger feels comfortable to knock the aspirations of another down, imagine those comfortable with him! Think about it, dear reader. The last time you had a goal that was a bit grandiose, did you make the mistake of mentioning it to someone? Did that person immediately express doubt? Maybe they advised you to not ever try for reasons x, y, z. I really hope you stopped for a moment to ask yourself why anyone in their right mind would tell someone else – before you try, just don’t.
Why would someone do that? Could it be because they have the dreamer’s best interests in mind?
Say less, I’ll tell you. It’s simply because hater-ade is the most abundantly consumed beverage on earth! Nearly every single person around is a sad bast*rd with an unquenchable thirst for it, that is, if their very negative responses are centered around doubt. For the uninitiated, I am referring to statements which usually begin or end with “You can’t.”
A$$-backwards, really. Yes, reasonable people surely might have been successful in talking someone else into avoiding a touch of disappointment, or perhaps a major public failure.
Many of you who end up here on this page will come away from this post thinking you mistakenly tripped into the journal of man slowly losing grips with reality. This whole thing sounds bad and I could avoid some very serious future discontentment by simply consulting someone about this, instead of jumping into a lofty pursuit.
I am just not programmed that way. I am of the impression asking anyone what they think of your plans to pursue a goal is merely an irresistible invitation to being talked out of something potentially awesome, under the guise of offering you friendly advice. Awesome in this context does not necessarily mean succeeding. I am referring, of course, to the opportunity chasing your passions always presents. Learning. When pursuing a lofty goal, even in the event of ostensibly unavoidable failure there is always much to be learned, especially about yourself. Who would want to be talked out of such a probable adventure? If someone is unwilling to get comfortable testing themselves they succumb to the dogma of their surroundings. What has the status quo done for anyone recently? It certainly has not offered me much in the way of happiness.
I take my environment seriously. If you stick around here long enough and have a high tolerance for unhurried storytelling, you will see this idea suffuses to all aspects of my life. I believe a lot of people somewhere along the line listen to every voice in their environment except the only one that really matters, the one inside. At some point in time they start to simply go through motions and do what it is they believe they are supposed to do. You know exactly what I am talking about. Wake up and go to the office. Come home and watch Netflix. Go to sleep and repeat. A generalization, sure, but I mean to express that at some point, people just sort of…stop.
They stop pursuing what it is they love, what they desire, what they really dream about. Instead they start assimilating into their environment. Think about it. Have you ever sat among a group of your mates and thought, “what the hell happened to you lot?” Maybe they were talking about their new stereo system, or the deck they just installed in their yard. If so, maybe you realized that the turning point for them was something fairly innocuous. Maybe they got a girlfriend and it became serious, or maybe they had babies before they were ready. Maybe they leapt into the career their parents willed them into, and failed to accomplish anything internally other than feeling unfulfilled at day’s end. The point I am trying to make here is no product of a sleepy environment gets absolutely anything worthwhile accomplished.
I have always been paranoid about succumbing to a similar fate. You should be too. If you refrained from pursuing something you genuinely wanted to take a serious crack at, think back on it. Maybe it was because the people around you, those who are supposed to be closest, convinced you to halt the chase of that something which assuredly feeds the flames of your soul. “It just isn’t worthwhile. It isn’t possible. You just can’t.”
It is not simply consult alone which must be avoided. This idea goes much further. This is about choosing those around you with exceptional care. Why? They will not hesitate to tell you what they think, for one. That much is true even when you never bothered to ask. Take the subheading of this very post as an example. That quote?
My own brother’s words.
Forgo consulting anyone when starting and you just might be able to show them when you are finished. AMPUTATE those motherf*ckers from your environment and get after it.
It is alarming how many experts are around when the time has come to fervently chase something novel to you, your life, your family, your circle of people, or your community. Suddenly everyone is most qualified to inform you that you are unable. For some reason, many people just listen to these no-men (and no-women, equal rights etcetera), believing they made a turn for the best – towards being more realistic.
It is prudent to be realistic but do you know what is much better than being realistic? Being happy.
Chase your dream. Do whatever it is you cannot, even if it means giving yourself up to loneliness. Put your head down and be a one man army. Knuckle in and keep advancing like an enraged freight train.
Or just climb aboard mine. Hit that subscribe button already!
Comments are closed.